I have a midterm today for my Microbiology class. It is a lot of information to remember. A lot! So, how am I spending my time today? Bouncing like a wild devil between stints of studying, writing this blog, and cleaning the nooks and crannies of my house. Does my house need to be deep-cleaned today? Well, yes, it always needs it but today? No, not necessarily. So, why? Why when I obviously have another, much more pressing task, can I not fight the urge to reorganize the bathroom?

The answer is simple. You already know it and you've probably done it a million times. Because when something feels too big (like the names, virulence, symptoms, and treatments for 45 different bacterial infections too big), we humans tend to circle back to something that is manageable. We zoom in on whatever chore, project, or to-do list item will reinstate some small measure of control. Something with a clearly defined start, finish, and result is ideal. We need a little victory to remind us that we can do this bigger, harder thing!

It was in this moment of grasping for control, reciting the chain of infection, and scouring the sink that I remembered my own words regarding a family I recently helped with arrangements: "They seem to be getting bogged down in the little details." I wasn't mad at them by any stretch, but there was definitely that nagging implication of "this is not the best use of my time" built into the observation. And boy, what an asshat thing to say.

Of course they were bogged down in the details. This family had lost a dear member unexpectedly. Some of them were displaced, having traveled from out of state to be with their loved ones. They went in a heartbeat from whatever routine day they had planned, to a calendar full of odd and horrifying reminders like "Funeral home -3:00pm, bring suit and undergarments" and "Attorney's office @ 5:30" and "Call cemetery before noon." Their world was spinning out of control. Their heads and their hearts were at maximum capacity of "too big" and so they circled back and maybe spent too long discussing and deciding what order to sit in for the service -because that choice felt manageable. They needed a little victory to remind them that they can do this much bigger, much harder thing!

So, as I try to cram more knowledge into this head of mine between feverish bouts of sweeping and dusting, I will remember to find the balance between directing --moving the family along in the decision-making process, and waiting patiently while they find their equilibrium.

What about you? What's your go-to task for regaining your composure in the midst of chaos? Spice cabinet? Linen closet? Leave a comment on this page or on the RIPeace Out Facebook page!