For those who know my story of transition from Christianity to agnosticism, there is bound to be some curiosity as to how I reconcile my aversion to religion with a job that is, at times, ministerial and often heavily religious in nature . The simplest answer is that (as it should be for anyone) my personal belief system and my ability to maintain professionalism are in no way mutually exclusive.
The slightly longer answer:
I've long been persuaded that all religion really comes down to is who you choose to list in the credits as the end of your life's movie. This job, in many ways, has confirmed that notion. Since my first funeral service in January, I have assisted with Baptist, Methodist, and Lutheran memorials, several Catholic masses, and a handful of completely secular receptions and ceremonies. The differences can be huge from a logistical standpoint, but the content? Not so much. Whether there's a sermon/message/homily or just friends and family offering encouragement, everyone is saying the same things --"We are hurting. We are missing our friend/spouse/child/parent. We are hopeful that they are at peace. We need each other to get through this." The rest is just a matter of packaging it in the way that gives us the most reassurance.
Death, the great equalizer, doesn't care one lick which god you serve. It doesn't care where, how, or if you believe your loved ones exist after their departure. It neither favors nor spares the members of any religious affiliation. It takes without discrimination and distributes equal heartbreak in its wake. Recognizing this is in large part what allows me to do this job. Pain and grieving after loss are universal. So should our compassion be. Someday it will be our pain. Our loss. And we will want that compassion extended to us.
So, I see myself in this role of funeral director as a witness. I get to be a fly on the wall at the close of someone's story; to witness the moment that will forever divide life into "before" and "after" for those who remain. And I can respect, observe, and even participate appropriately in whatever comfort from religious belief or cultural custom a family leans into as they walk that path. That's how I do it. 💗
Thanks for tracking with me...
because death is a weird space to live in.
(Trying out a new tag line. Let me know what you think. =))
